You may remember my New Year’s Resolutions. You may not. Anyhow, I figured I should give an update, since I am stuck in an airport, waiting for a delayed flight, and since an update can count as part of keeping one of the resolutions. So here goes…

My first resolution was that I would read my Bible every day. I also said that would be the hardest! It’s easy to do when I am not busy, and not tired, but when I get busy or tired, guess what goes out of the window first? You guessed it! This needs some work.

There’s not a great deal I can do about the second resolution yet, so I’ll leave it at that.

Third: learning a new language. Haven’t done much about it yet, but I am going to Norway in May, so it would be good to start that. I still intend on brushing up on my French and Italian though. I have tested myself and was surprised by how much I remembered!

Fourth: reading twenty books (and books of the Bible don’t count). Ambitious. Failing miserably. Must do better, like even picking one up…

Fifth: posting on my website more. Hmm. Could do better, eh? To be fair, I am currently working on two new sites, so thois has rather eaten into this time. It will improve…

Sixth: personal best in a 10k race. Well, that won’t happen for a while yet. We’re looking at late summer / early autumn for 10k races, but when it comes round, I’m confident.

Seventh: trying out a new sport. I have joined an American Football team to play in competitively, and fully intend to give curling a go. Good progress.

Eighth: driving test. Let’s not talk about that.

Ninth: new territory on my racing bike. Well, I have gone through Rutherglen, Parkhead, Cambuslang and Garelochhead, so there has been some progress, but it would be good to branch out more too.

Tenth: Of course I am as witty, dark and cutting as ever. I’ve even been told. It’s natural. Why waste a gift?

So there you go. And my plane is still nowhere near.

Just under 20 years ago, I resolved never to make any New Year’s Resolutions again. Of course, that year passed quite some time ago, and I have decided I’ve had enough of sticking to that, so here are a few resolutions for 2010:

1. I will read my Bible every day;
2. I will vote for [deleted - secret ballot and all that] in the General Election;
3. I will learn a new language;
4. I will read at least 20 books;
5. I will post on my website more;
6. I will set a personal best in a 10k race;
7. I will try out a new sport;
8. I will pass my driving test;
9. I will explore new territory on my racing bike;
10. I will be as witty, dark and cutting as ever.

So there you go, ten resolutions. All attainable. Many can be done to varying degrees of success, others just need done. Succeeding in 1) will be the hardest, but also the most rewarding. Succeeding in 2) just needs done, as does 8). But 3), 4), 6), 7) and 8) can all be as easy or hard as I make them.

My best time in a 10k race is just over 42 minutes. I would love to do it in under 40, although in training, I have actually managed 38 minutes. Somehow.

Learning a new language – I LOVE languages. I studied French for ten years from the age of six. I would love to be fluent in that again, but also to learn Italian, German, Gaelic and a Nordic language. Oh, I also got a 1st in New Testament Greek too..

Trying out a new sport – well, I have one in mind actually. Curling. Don’t laugh. I LOVE watching it. Why not give it a go?

So there you go, there are my top ten New Year’s Resolutions. Feel free to ask me about them. Please do, in fact. Make sure I stick to them. And if you want to, join me in them! Run with me, cycle with me, read with me, learn with me. But don’t try and vote with me. It’s secret. And don’t try and be funny. I have a monopoly on that.

So anyway, Happy New Year!

Muggings – a serious and not uncommon crime. Almost everyone knows someone who has been mugged at some point. I can think of a number of people I know who have been mugged in the last couple of years. It’s a crime I would like to see less of – not that there are any I would like to see more, of course!

However, staging mock muggings is not the way to do it. Have you heard such a ludicrous idea of late? The rationale goes like this: people are unwilling to interfere in muggings because they either don’t care, don’t have the confidence to take a mugger on, don’t want to get hurt or are just plain British and assume it’s not their business to interfere. Thus, staged muggings could be, err, “performed(?)”, and the public’s reaction gauged. Right?

Hmm. Strange concept. I mean, what’s going to happen when no-one interferes? Will a good ol’ copper come out and lecture everyone about how they should have wrestled the mugger to the ground in a citizen’s arrest? Or how they could have taken a photograph or video for evidence (or, more likely to put up on YouTube a “happy-slap” viral)?

It’s just not going to work. People will take no notice. Why? Because next time, they’ll just think, “oh, it’s just some staged performance”. So they won’t interfere. The same goes for anyone who would have interefered – they’ll just think, “last time was all for nothing. It wasn’t even a proper mugging. I won’t bother this time.”

And you know what else? It’s the perfect excuse for any would-be mugger.

This ludicrous proposal was put forward by the charity Witness Confident. The charity launches today. I am more than happy to provide P.R. consultancy for the going rates (that’ll be daylight robbery, ahem!)